Back to posting!

So, it's been a long while since I last posted here! It seems like I've been under water for several months, just trying to get above the surface of work-life, really. I was - until just last week -the head of an academic department at a university, so much of my life has been one of absorption into the pressures and worries of departmental/program/university issues. Now that THAT role is over, I can return to the life of an academic - an instructor, researcher, colleague. Ahhhhhhh...... I'm certain that over time I will discover the legacy of this past three years, in all facets of my work/career life, but also the legacy within my own self-definition, and within my home and family relationships. I'll also discover much more of the impact PTSD has had on my performance as department head, and the role this syndrome plays on my life AFTER this administrative role. I've discovered thus far that my private life really was significantly effected by my absorption into the administrative life at the university. This isn't necessarily entirely bad, nor is it entirely good. What is certainly NOT good is the strain that was put on my family relationships, resulting from the priority I placed over the past three years on performing perfectly as department head. In fact, the inclination I know -throughout at least the first two years as head - was to be a 'hero' of sorts for the department, and for the faculty within that department. Perhaps being the 'champion' in this way resulted in some good things - I can't tell at this point. My colleagues never once articulated a desire that I (or any head) be that 'champion' or 'hero', to be sure. Why did I think I had to be this? Why did I think this way? Is that a manifestation of PTSD? There are many more questions to ask ---- more to research. I can now return to my research into the history of PTSD (or, the syndrome or spectrum that is this disorder), and the history of trauma/ memory/ catastrophe awareness and recollection. I'm eager to get back to this area of research, and to learn, and share much, much more. More soon!