Memory 'erasing' and recovery from trauma?

IN the last week or so, I listened to an interview with a researcher in Ontario, I *think* at the University of Western Ontario, on CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation). It was a case where I think I had heard about some of the theories behind the research at some point a few years back, and the story of it had intrigued me since then. The researcher was being interviewed on some recent work on the brain, and how memories of traumatic events can be manipulated in some way, perhaps even 'erasing' them. Research has indicated that there may be - if there isn't already - medical/neurological processes available to essentially erase a trauma-causing memory from the brain of a person suffering with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. The CBC interview host was aware of current discussion on this research, and its implications, pointing to a question of whether more damage would be done to a person's overall memory functions if such a procedure were implemented. What's more, the question must be raised about the inherent value of even the most horrific of memories. I have PTSD, stemming from childhood and an event as an adult, and I am not sure if I would opt to remove those memory/ events from my brain, if the procedure were there. Perhaps that is because my trauma and the ensuing depression, and anxiety, and repercussions on my ability to trust, and have relationships, have been the focus of considerable psychiatric and psychological help. I am also 'high-functioning', able to function well daily, and to aim for success, as well as to visualize successful outcomes and a future. For others, the possibility of erasing memory -or memories - might be the means to true health, to being able to function at all. There is no doubt at all that PTSD can sap life, can eat away at function, and that it 'traps' people, paralyzing them in a state of immobility (at all levels - physical, intellectual, cognitive, relational). The researcher in the interview pointed out that a person with PTSD isn't really remembering a memory, as much as they are actually RELIVING the event. Their brain and body goes 'back there', they ARE there. It is not the same as a fond or even no-emotion-involved remembering of some event which was not generally stressful, or traumatic. Reliving traumatic events is HORRIBLE. My brain, my eyes, my sight, are all really there - even though I am sitting in conversation with someone in a restaurant. Would I choose to have one of my traumatic 'relivings' removed? Would you? Must go for now ---- have a flu bug or something.

It's been a crazy busy couple of weeks, with the beginning of the Fall term here. All the while, though, I've continued to think of this blog, and what I can share, in the context of memory, trauma, PTSD, and history. I wonder sometimes why - or, really, how - I ended up interested in the aspects of trauma and PTSD in the historical context. I also wonder whether there is validity in even looking for trauma and PTSD in the distant past. After all, the field of Psychiatry itself didn't have acknowledged existence and status as a legitimate field of study until the 20th century, and PTSD was - and is still - a conglomeration of symptoms, behaviours, labels, interpretations and so on. I've mentioned previously a work by Allan Young, and the inventing of PTSD, in which he points to a long process of the construction of the label "Post-traumatic Stress Disorder", as individuals across several fields and disciplines wrestled with the assortment of symptoms, behaviours and illnesses which seemed to be connected together. Young points out that in the construction of this label, the process of construction was interwoven with the writing and editing of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (the DSM), in its revisions and publication. One very critical point he - and others - have made is that PTSD itself may be largely, if not only, and 'invention'; the result of a process of determining 1) whether various discrete symptoms were in fact neurologically/ mentally/ physiologically and definitely connected, and 2) if they were, was there in fact a single malady/ syndrome at work, which could be labelled in such a way as to acknowledge the reality of the syndrome and the multiplicity of symptoms/manifestations within it. It may well be, he and others have pointed out, that PTSD is really a label which is the product of invention, based on a perceived harmony throughout and between an assortment of symptoms. The symptoms range widely: hyper-alertness, anxiety, depression, flashbacks, intrusive memories, nightmares, heart palpitations, rapid breathing, isolation of oneself, feelings of detachment and 'numbing', inability to remember aspects of the traumatic events (s), sense of a limited future, hyper-irritability,difficulty concentrating. Taken each on their own, these symptoms may well appear in contexts completely apart from anything psycho-physiological, and may well not indicate any mental disorder or syndrome. An individual experiencing many or most of these symptoms concurrently, though, is considered a candidate for the diagnosis of PTSD. Each individual symptom may be purely a product of something solely physiological - a disease, for example, such as high blood pressure, or of straightforward (though by no means painless or 'simple') depression. When symptoms in this list manifest within the a single person, within a set period of time, are debilitating, impede 'normal' functioning, and are within a context of the experience of a traumatic event (whether recent or in the past), psychiatrists note the potential for a diagnosis of PTSD. Young argues for a reconsideration of the existence of this label, in light of the history of the label alone. There is no doubt that persons experiencing any of these symptoms - or many of them - is really experiencing these, Young points out. The essential question, then, is whether they belong altogether in a single diagnostic entity, such as PTSD. Is it the case that the medical and psychiatric professions applied a label because of the practical 'necessity' for acknowledging inter-connectedness between these various symptoms and behaviours? Was it the case that the impetus for categorization and defining, behind the construction of the DSM and its revised publication processes, drove experts to see connectedness where in fact there was little, none, or only very slight physiological similarity or connection? The forces behind the editing and revising, and republication of the DSM, in the 20th century, were very strong. Not least of these forces was the drive - in the context of the post-Korean and post-Vietnam periods - to provide for politicians, the military administration, and the Veterans Administration in the U.S. a readily accessible label to be applied diagnostically for veterans where there was a claim for financial compensations and medical benefits. When I began my own research, into British history (early modern period), my very first interests revolved around matters of conscience, and honour, among English males involved in the English Civil Wars. Actually, that's not quite true - my very first interest was in discovering why men did NOT fight in these wars (1642-1646, 1648). I wanted to really KNOW what men were thinking when they decided to remain neutral in the conflicts. This led me into efforts to understand the 17th century definitions of honour and conscience - since these were clearly critical aspects in the decision of neutrality. A tangential area of research emerged in this process, the understanding of the nature of 'fear' for these men, particularly fear in the face of brutalities of war, and death. Some fears were handled by men with the seeking out of evidence of providence, even predestination, at work. Some fears were dealt with in the context of apocalyptic perspectives: the Second Coming/ Apocalypse was clearly upon us --> I am a good Protestant ----> faith will save me ---> the Bible offers evidence of the terror of the Apocalyptic battles, but I am saved ---> therefore, even though my death be terrible, I will see paradise. There is no doubt among historians studying early modern Europe and England that there was a sense of a not-far-off Apocalypse. It was in my study of such perceptions that I began to consider the impact of fear, brutalities of war, and catastrophic events on European - really English - society. What did men actually, and really, THINK when they experienced in every immediate and personal sense the shocks, the brutalities, the violence of war and death? Was it true that they were secure from mental disorders that we see today, by virtue of, well, their 'virtue'? Was their security in faith, their perceptions of personal honour and a right conscience enough to guard them from what we today consider PTSD? I didn't - and still don't think so, at least not entirely. Perhaps I'm underestimating the significance and thoroughness of the role played by the type of personal religiosity and faith which appears to have prevailed throughout early modern society. Perhaps the faith, piety, belief, or whatever else we might call it, of men at that time - in England, in the 1600s - was truly of such a different kind that it really did protect most males from the malady of PTSD (should we still, after all, acknowledge the legitimacy of that label). The question remains - and it's a difficult one: is/was PTSD a real syndrome, in its entirety? Is/ was it ONLY a product of the pressures of the 20th century (political, medical, military, and editorial)? If I am searching for 'it' in the past, it would be helpful to know if PTSD is 'real'. A.

Memory

What is your earliest memory? Why do you remember it, or -perhaps it's more accurate to ask HOW you remember this particular thing/event/time over the many other things/events/ times that also fill your life? Memories, and remembering play an enormous role in our brain map, and this is - for me - just so fascinating. As a historian, I 'work' with memories all the time. Just a thought - or several - rambling around in my head today.

That's It: Apocalyptic film, dramatic events, 9/11 and the at...

That's It: Apocalyptic film, dramatic events, 9/11 and the at...: I've been reading various works on PTSD, over the past few years, and doing so slowly (when I've got the time and the inclination or...

Apocalyptic film, dramatic events, 9/11 and the attraction of dire events

I've been reading various works on PTSD, over the past few years, and doing so slowly (when I've got the time and the inclination or enthusiasm). There are so many theories and perspectives on PTSD, or - rather - on trauma, and its connection to events. One fascinating aspect of understanding trauma/ traumatic events and their impact on and within individuals and societies at large is the near mesmerization and fascination experienced by some individuals and at times (seemingly) entire societies when encountering truly brutal/ shocking/ traumatic events on social media, in film, on the news networks. I wonder if this fascination explains as well the great popularity of reality television. My guess is that it probably does. Anyway, I can point to my own experience in this area. On Spetember 11, 2001, I watched television, after my husband tracked me down at the university, and pulled me out of class to relay urgent messages from my mother. My mother had been attempting to contact me, once she herself had been contacted by some of my siblings, who advised her to turn on her television to catch the news feeds on the attack on the World Trade Centres and the Pentagon. She had reached my husband, who then went to inform me. I'll explain here, some of the backdrop of her urgent need to connect with me: I live in western Canada, the only one of ten kids in my family to move out of the U.S. The remainder of my family live in Ohio, wight he exception of two brothers living in the Pacific Northwest. I have always been concerned about my family's well-being, especially as I live so far from them. The events of 9/11 added to my anxieties about their welfare, as I - along with many in North America, and likely elsewhere - sensed that the events of that day were likely a harbinger of things to come. While I watched the televised coverage of the World Trade towers burning, people jumping or falling from windows high in the towers, the collapse of the towers, the attack on the Pentagon, and all subsequent events, I felt complete dismay, great grief, and shock. I as well thought that I was observing events that were cataclysmic, in the scope of U.S. history,if not the history of the western world. As a historian, I have been trained to think of events such as those of that day as having far-flung, long-lasting and unknowable legacies, as well as long-past origins and critical factors going back decades at least. I found my senses keyed up, 'hyper', and I could not - it seemed - stop my thoughts from replaying the televised images, nor could I stop my fascination with all that was going on. I recall watching hours of television afterward, and really having to try hard to pull myself away from the news feeds. I used the internet as well, watching possibly hundreds of personal cellphone and camera videos that had been posted by individuals present in New Yrok city, and in Washington, and in Pennsylvania. I asked my family members, in the year afterward, of their specific recollections of all that had happened, how they felt, what they did, and so on. I know at various points I found myself having nightmares of being in New York, at the World Trade Centre, as the planes hit the buildings, as the buildings collapsed. My husband observed several times that I really needed to stop watching coverage, and stop dwelling on the events. Since 2001, I've occasionally (more often in the years immediately following 9/11, far less now) searched online for videos from the events, photographs, and documentaries. I think there are at least two reasons for this fascination on my part: one is that I am a historian who happens also to be acutely interested in historical crises/ trauma/ survival. The second is that I am somehow 'comforted' by the invigoration that results from revisiting the neurological and cognitive (?) pathways created by my own traumatic experiences, without actually visiting those very private traumas of my own life. I can look and observe the traumatic events of - say - 9/11, without having ever been very personally and literally THERE, in New York, in Washington, in Pennsylvania, or even in the U.S. In one monograph I have read, quite recently, by Allan Young, he discussed and summarized several theories of trauma, and memory. In some of his summaries, as well as in other contemporary sources, mention has been made of this phenomena among people who have PTSD: this clear fascination with, and near-obsessive-like attraction toward dire and shocking events. It is -in my own perspective - as if PTSD sufferers cannot help but be drawn to observe, to watch, to feel the sensations brought by sudden catastrophic events - televised, in Hollywood film, on Facebook, or YouTube. Are PTSD sufferers ghouls? What is going on? One theory is that once one experiences traumatic events, and develops PTSD (and I do understand that this is an artificially all-encompassing label for a wide range of sensations/emotions/neurological circumstances), one's mind/brain 'needs' to replay the sensations of hyper-alertness/ foreboding/ catastrophic-awareness and even excitement. There is no stopping that very innate, very fundamental drive or attraction toward this replay. I'm going to read more on this, since I don't quite 'get' this yet, and don't want to even try to explain this all here. Those researchers who have posited this theory have explanations which are complex, understandably so, and I don't want to set out an explanation here without understanding it better myself. More later!

A few years ago, I was interviewed on a provincial radio program about PTSD, on Remembrance Day (here in Canada, this is November 11, and akin to Veteran's Day in the U.S.) The program host asked me towards the end of the interview if it was a good thing to commemorate, to bring up memories of war, for those who endure PTSD as veterans of conflicts and military service. Looking back to that interview, now, I am not happy about my answer then. I don't think I really answered the question at all, really, just emphasizing instead that younger individuals, having little to no experience of a nation at war, really needed much more education about the realities of past warfare, and the impact of warfare on entire societies. This wasn't any kind of answer to the question! Since then, though,I've thought about this particular question a LOT. This is particularly since, in my own research on PTSD, on survival, trauma, and memory, I've encountered extensive discussions among researchers about memory, and history. Memory studies and trauma studies have emerged as significant areas of research and publication. I didn't intend - at the start - to delve into memory studies, but as I read more of the medical/ psychiatric/ diagnostic and neurological material concerning trauma, survival, and PTSD, it became very clear that memory plays perhaps the most significant part of all in what we call PTSD. My past from a few days ago has my description of how (or when) trauma occurs, and at what point PTSD is thought to develop. Memory functions in the emergence of PTSD, and its function initiates immediately, unconsciously. An event happens - in this case an event that is unexpected, and unexpectedly dire/ portentous, shocking, perhaps brutal or threatening brutality - and memory is formed. My perspective is that the memory is formed within nanoseconds, of the event. As the brain/ mind attempts repeatedly to insert awareness of 'what's coming' into the moments in the past which preceded the actual event (time-traveling, in a sense), it replays the memory. In effect, the brain/mind plays and replays a loop. The point to the replaying is the chance (and it is only a perception of a chance) that at some point in the replaying, the person/ mind/ brain WILL be successful in going back to the moments preceding the event, and prepare the person/ mind/ brain for what is coming next. The flashbacks experienced by sufferers of PTSD are the replaying of memory. The trigger for the flashbacks? Many can recall seeing in movies, or hearing from popularized stories about - say Vietnam vets - that sounds, circumstances, smells, tastes, and certain emotions serve as triggers for the flashback. True, though in my own experience the trigger has never been something terrifically obvious or evident. I can't recall at this point ever experiencing a sound/ smell/ taste and thinking "uh, oh, this is going to trigger a flashback!". For me, at least, the triggers have been circumstances, and the emotions spinning off them, and they have been subtle. For others????

Understanding PTSD

It's late August now. My husband says that he can 'feel' fall approaching, and I have to agree. The light is changing outside, just a bit, and subtly. I enjoy fall, and the change in seasons, really quite a lot, though sometimes I find myself feeling 'pressed' for time, like the season just finishing hasn't been long enough, or that I haven't done everything in the season that I had wanted to do, or enjoyed every last drop of it before time moves on. I mentioned that this blog was going to have reflections on PTSD, trauma, survival, coping, and memory, and I haven't changed that view, though really these parameters were set only with about half of my attention. At the time I set up this blog, it really was just an exercise in blog start-up, to see if blogging would be a workable component of courses I teach at the university. I think, for now, I'll stick with those descriptive terms. PTSD, trauma, coping, survival and memory are all fascinating to me. I have a personal interest in each, owing to events in my own life, for sure, but also because I see the great impact each of these aspects has on the lives of people historically, and now. These days, PTSD is receiving tremendous attention - perhaps more than it did in the aftermath of the Vietnam War, and in the aftermath of WWI, when it was referred to by different names, most often and typically "shell shock." After September 11, 2001, with the World Trade Center and Pentagon attacks, rolling into the wars in Iraq, and later conflicts throughout the middle east, PTSD resurfaced into the mainstream media more and more often. Soldiers, male and female, certainly in the U.S. and in Canada, made the news with their disclosures of their own struggles with PTSD. If they did not disclose their struggles personally, and willingly, their subsequent suicides certainly revealed the syndrome for them. The resulting increase in attention seems to validate, at least to some in the populations of North America, the existence of PTSD. This is a good thing, certainly, as military men and women really must have some way to describe what they are enduring, and some way to make it relevant to those in the populace who have not endured PTSD personally. PTSD, though, isn't JUST something emerging among those confronted with battles or the dire circumstances related to military conflict. For the record, it effects all sorts of people, all the time. Some of the necessary ingredients include unexpectedly dire circumstances that involve potential physical or mental injury, or death, of oneself, or of those around one. Notice, please, that this doesn't by definition require a literal battlefield, or bombs, or military arms. It just requires sudden-ness, peril, shock, really. The trauma, according to neurologists, psychiatrists, psychologists, and others in medical professions and counselling professions, comes in the nanoseconds AFTER the instant of the immediate shock/ danger/ threat: it comes in the instants after, where the person survives, and memory is formed. One critical reality is the UN-reality, the incomprehensibility of the survival, and the mind/ brain's inability to ever - really - go back to the instant before the event, and to 'warn' the brain/ mind/ body of the imminent threat. The mental 'groove' in the mind has been made, and the brain settles into that groove, replaying the event, particularly when a trigger is touched, as the mind attempts to fully comprehend it, even to warn off the individual in some way. This is huge, to me. At this point in my life, I can see where I have invested enormous energy in trying to figure things out, to 'see' the dangers approaching me before they happen(ed), to fully comprehend them. I want to know why they happened, fully, but I'm betting that knowing why wouldn't erase them from the place they each have in my person, my being. More later --- have to work!

Hello out there on August 20, 2014

Hello! It's exciting to set up this blog. I've never done this, but - as I am working out a one-on-one course with a student, and might assign a blog as a project component of the course, thought I'd better see how blogging actually works before I require a student to start one. It seems easy enough, so far. I am a Historian, and it is in that role that I am putting this blog together, and teaching this Directed Studies course. The course will likely be about identity in medieval England - an excellent topic. My own specialization in historical research, though, is trauma, survival, memory and self in Early Modern and Modern European and British history. This is the field of study in which I spend most of my time, really - it's fascinating. It doesn't hurt that I am someone who has incorporated the reality of PTSD in my own life, having survived molestation by a family friend as a child, and rape as an adult. Counselors have determined that I am 'high-functioning' as a person with PTSD, and I agree, but 'functioning' is really such a wildly subjective categorization, I think. In my professional life, I love challenges, and research, and teaching. As the Chair, or Head, of an academic department at a university, life is full of challenges, seldom identical to anything I've encountered before, so it sometimes seems like every single day is a completely new, unfathomable, thrill-a-minute amusement park ride. I'll be posting items here that somehow connect to trauma, memory, PTSD, and perhaps other matters, as things arise. I had better get along now - I'm at work, after all!